Brown recluse spiders, a blown-out back and the grace of God – messenger-inquirer

Recommended by Dikshit Aryal, Published on July 4th, 2020

We have a bad combination going on in our home right now.

My wife hates bugs of all types and brown recluse spiders have entered the Rhoadses home.

To say my wife is upset about this would be an understatement. When she finds a dead spider on a trap, you can see the stress and fear in her eyes.

Live spiders? Even worse. The only people happy about this situation are our local exterminators. We are on a path to becoming customer of the year.

Well, yesterday, my wife told me she was going to think like a spider and decided that spiders may climb up under our couches. So, she would check the bottom of our couches to make sure they are sealed and spiders cant get in.

Well, she tried to lift a couch by herself and boom. . . her back went out. Not a nagging pain deal, but an I can hardly get out of bed pain. Now, we are supporting our exterminators and our local medical professionals, too. I am kind of hoping that the muscle relaxers help her mind relax as well.

Personally, Im not worried about the spiders. Our exterminator said our problem is common this time of year. I am tempted to tell my wife to calm down, quit spending so much money, and quit hurting herself.

But if I took the I will convince her to calm down approach, how is that going to play out? Marilyn will not be helped. She will be freaked out about spiders and mad at me.

So, what does grace look like? Grace is choosing to love and not get frustrated. It is choosing to go all in on the spider-eradication project. It is crawling around our attack putting out powder and traps. It is causing her to feel like I am on her team, even if I dont share her concern or perspective.

Different perspectives can wreck a marriage. Each spouse tries to convince the other that he or she is right. Then, they live in conflict. Instead of trying to persuade your spouse to your view, seek to understand theirs and seek to love.

Proverbs 17:9 says love covers all offenses. If you keep your focus on extending grace, covering offenses and loving, your marriage will grow. If your focus is on making your spouse more like you want him or her to be, youll live in a perpetual state of frustration.

I think Marilyn is amazing. However, she doesnt handle spider issues very well. So what? So, well go on a compulsive campaign to kill every spider in a half-mile radius.

We all have our hang-ups and issues. All couples have significant differences in opinions and perspectives. We can allow this to pull us apart or we can choose to just love one another. If something is important to your spouse, make it important to you.

Instead of fighting against one another, realize you are a team. You have opportunities to help each other through life, not criticize each other for handling life poorly.

Hank Smith said complaining about your spouse is like saying, Your side of the boat is sinking. Help the whole boat stay afloat, dont complain about your spouses side.

The atmosphere of your marriage will largely determine your enjoyment of and the quality of your life. So, invest in your spouse. Enjoy your marriage. There is no more strategic place to put time and resources than in your own marriage.

We always remind couples, grace doesnt mean tolerating abuse or ongoing infidelity. If you are in this situation, prioritize protection and seek help.

I know some of you are wondering how Marilyns back is feeling. Im happy to say it is getting better and Operation Spider-Eradication is under way!

If youd like to get on a growth curve and work together to do life together and enjoy one another more, go to and join us on this crazy, wild, fun, difficult, painful, enjoyable thing called life.

Grace Marriage is an Owensboro-based ministry led by Brad and Marilyn Rhoads.

Originally posted here:
Brown recluse spiders, a blown-out back and the grace of God - messenger-inquirer

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